I am gonna surprise precisely no-one by saying, I do not like conflict. I’m conflict-avoidant. I don’t like having to confront someone and tell them they’re wrong, or that I don’t like what they’re doing, or anything even close to that. That means, of course, that when I’ve finally got the determination to enter conflict, I do so with disproportionate force. Because I’ve got to overcome all my internal reservations, at the point I manage to tell someone that I don’t like what’s going on, it can seem…over the top.

So yeah, today. The specified fireplace for the ADU will look amazing, but will provide no heat. So, is fire pretty enough that we’re willing to spend over 20 grand just to look at it, without any other benefits? Not in my book. So, I take a trip over to the fireplace showroom after calling and getting routed to voicemails for both the business and for the specific salesdude on the proposal. Rando employee tells me that no, that model of fireplace is really just for looks — it doesn’t heat anything, appreciably. He shows me some other models that will, actually, heat a room.

And now, the conflict. I send an email to the architect & builder saying that no, they’re gonna have to suck it up and get a different fireplace. Builder says, “Sure, just let me know what the framing requirements are going to be when you figure out what you’re actually going to buy.” That’s real. That’s a guy who has no investment in the choice beyond being sure he can do the job.

The architect? He comes back at me with reasons why I should just take the stupid useless climate destroyer. You know what? The more we go along, the less happy I am about this choice. Why do I need to argue about my desire to have a fireplace that actually provides heat? Why is this even a discussion?

Published by pirateguillermo

I play the bagpipes. I program computers. I support my family in their various endeavors, and I enjoy my wonderful life.

One thought on “Conflict

  1. Looking back at a talk I had with our contractor we eventually had to fire because they’d stopped paying their subs — he argued with us about the driveway grade he screwed up. He gave me a story about having a good buddy hydro engineer at poly and this was a better idea. I called him on it after a few rounds and he backed down. I should have fired him on the spot.

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